Why new year’s resolutions don't work
It is that time of year when we fall into the same trap and set ourselves up for failure when setting our New Year’s resolutions.
We often have the same New Year’s resolutions every January and by the time December rolls around what we had planned to achieve for that year has been long forgotten about and we try and convince ourselves that this year will be different.
Will it?
Why is that 95% of people that try to implement a new habit fail time and time again?
One of the biggest hurdles preventing you from achieving your New Year’s resolution is not having the right strategy that sets you up for success and builds your confidence.
Whether you want to start running, build more muscle, loss weight or get fitter- if you don't know what to expect and aren't prepared for how you will overcome the challenges that you will face- you are unlikely to succeed.
All New Year’s resolutions involve some sort of change and having to develop a new habit. There is much debate on how long it takes for a new habit to form which can range from 18 days to 66 days. You are most likely to have heard that habits only take 21 days to form, but for some people this can take much longer and because we live in a society of instant gratification we often give up before we even get started.
Our lack of patience when we are trying to implement a new habit means that when we don't see results straight away we tell ourselves the narrative that we are "doing it wrong" or that "I just can't do it" and give up within the first few weeks.
There is a reason why gyms are always jammed packed full of people at the start of January and within 2-3 weeks are only half full.
One of the biggest issues I have with New Year’s resolutions is that every year you aren't able to stick to your new habit, you lose confidence in yourself and your ability to improve, which can often lead to negative self-talk and stop you from trying rather than building your confidence and self-efficacy.
I am going to give you my top 6 tips to ensure that you don't fall into the same trap that 95% of people will do in 2023 and give you a strategy for success.
"There is nothing to fear, because you cannot fail. Only LEARN, GROW and become BETTER than you've ever been before"
- Hal Elrod from Miracle Morning
1. Sustainable habits
Let's imagine you have a new years goal to drink 2 litres of water everyday because you know that you don't drink enough water and your Doctor suggested your drink more. For some people, setting a goal to drink 2 litres of water each day would be challenging, but also achievable if they already drink 1.5 litres of water - they already have a good foundation to build upon.
But, if you currently don't drink any water and give yourself a goal to drink 2 litres everyday, this may be unrealistic and too hard to achieve each day- the jump from your starting point to where you want to be is too great.
Set yourself a realistic goal. Instead your goal might be to drink 1 glass of water each day and to build from there.
The key to developing a new positive habit is one that is slightly challenging but also sustainable and something you can do everyday to build your confidence. Start small and build from there.
2. Micro goals
Set yourself smaller targets and goals along the way of achieving your bigger goal. One of the biggest issues I see with new years resolution is that people go from one extreme to the other and take an all or nothing approach.
Let's take the typical New Year’s resolution we have ALL made at one point in our lives: "I'm going to go to the gym 5 days a week". All this declaration is doing, is setting you up to fail.
If you are someone that currently doesn't do any form of regular exercise then trying to go to the gym 5 days a week will only last a few weeks and then it will become too hard, and you give up.
Instead give yourself micro goals along the way that will build the foundation to achieve your longer-term goals. of getting to the gym 5 days a week. You could start with doing 10 minutes of exercise every day or 10 pushups every morning for 1 month.
Once you achieve that goal, build upon it and make a new goal to do the gym 1 day a week and 10minutes of exercise every day and keep building.
3. The first 10 days are the hardest
Most people don't realise that the first 10 days are often the hardest and even though it may feel “unbearable” as you try to implement your new habit- this feeling is not forever. The first 3-4 days of a new habit is fun and exciting and then it gets hard once reality sets in and it's not fun anymore, but by being prepared for this you will be better able to ride this wave because you know it will get easier.
This is where most people give up- they assume that this feeling of it being so hard lasts forever and decide the new habit isn’t worth the headache.
But this won't be you as you know this feeling is temporary and once you get over those first 10 days it will become less uncomfortable and easier.
4. Patience
We often have unrealistic expectations for how long it will take to see the change we want to achieve. We expect after doing to the gym for 1 week that we will have guns of steel and ripped abs, which unfortunately is never going to be the case. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!
We often need to be reminded that good things take time and to enjoy the journey. I am the most impatient person, so I need to remind myself of this often.
"The person who loves walking, will walk further than the person who loves the destination"
5. Understand your why
Having a New Year’s resolution to lose weight isn't going to be enough to motivate you when push comes to shove and you have to make a choice between stopping Netflix or having to get up early in the morning so that you can do food prep, go to the gym, read that book, or make time to study.
You need to drill down and ask yourself WHY? Why you want to lose weight? What is the underlying driver? You may need to ask yourself “why” a few times to uncover this.
If you drill down and realise your why is that you can easily run around and play with your kids or grandkids- that will be a greater motivator to keep showing up for yourself and make the tough choices, especially on the days you don't want too.
6. Your identity
The language you use with yourself is super important. If your New Year’s resolution is to stop smoking, rather than telling people "I have given up smoking" instead say "I don't smoke".
Changing your language and using statements like this, acts as a reinforcement for who you want to become. You are verbalising the new identity you are trying to create which in turn impacts your behaviours. This can also work the other way, so it is important to ensure you use positive statements of who you are trying to become.
I hope you found my top 6 tips useful and they have given you a strategy to set yourself up for success to achieve your goals for the new year, so at any time of the year.
I am a firm believer that change can take place at any time of the year and on any day of the week.
All you have to do is start….
